i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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