Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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