i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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