tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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