There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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