Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize