I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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