Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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