I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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