I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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