So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
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She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
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He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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