Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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