Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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