In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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