he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize