the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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