Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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