You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize