its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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