ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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