so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
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just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
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I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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