did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize