You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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