all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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