he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
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So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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