First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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