Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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