if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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