Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize