I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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