i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I can text with my tongue
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize