if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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