I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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