she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
and you fell through a lawn chair
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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