I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize