I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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