Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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