We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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