so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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