Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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