I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize