Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize