I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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