I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize