u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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