Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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