i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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