i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize