Your dad touched me again.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize