ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize